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Ron Fruit: Welcome to the podcast, Coping Better, Connecting Our Positive Emotions, where we talk about positive emotion skills in relation to farm stress. In this episode, we’ll be discussing setting attainable goals in agriculture. It’s one of the core skills of the WeCOPE Series. I’m Ron Fruit. Our guests today are Joy Kirkpatrick, UW Madison, Division of Extension and Center for Dairy Profitability, where she’s a Farm Succession Outreach Specialist, and Serge Koenig, a Conservation Technician in Sauk County. Joy Kirkpatrick says it’s good to understand the concept of attainable goals.

Joy Kirkpatrick: A lot of times you think about like those big, lofty, very long in the, in the future sorts of goals, which is great. We need to have those too. But when you think about how goal setting can help with addressing stress, if we can think about some of those shorter term things, uh, goals that you want to accomplish that will eventually get you to that longer reaching goal. You wanna think a little bit about those being sort of those attainable goals, right? Short term, modest goals, if you’re thinking about in your farm experience or workplace, thinking about do you need to make a phone call or do you need to have a conversation with somebody about something or completing something that needs to be done by the end of the week, you wanna kind of think about focusing on what is it that you wanna get done.

Joy Kirkpatrick: What is it in the next day or the next week that would really reduce your stress level if you could get that accomplished, right? Sometimes, uh, I’ve read some people call it a difference making action. What is the thing that will make a difference in your life or farm business or in your family that you can get done in like say the next week? So if you can focus on that and, and really attach it to that, it will help your stress level. Then thinking about what are the things that need to get you started, like the very first step, just not just having that goal isn’t quite gonna get it right. You have to think about what is the step that you need to take to get you started It. It can be really easy. We kind of want it to be something that’s easy so that it feels like you’re kind of making some headway and, um, we’ll help you get further along. And then thinking about what resources you need to take that action. Are there information, tools, data, um, conversations that you need to have? And then thinking about measuring that success. How will I know if I’ve accomplished that goal?

Ron Fruit: Attaining goals creates positive emotions, which leads to the question, when do we expect positive emotions when we reach the end goal or with each step along the way? Joy believes it’s a matter of focus with the first successful step.

Joy Kirkpatrick: That can really help you. Thinking about being really mindful and trying to really focus on that one thing I think really can help with an accomplishment. You’re being mindful and you’re also thinking about those successful steps that you’re able to take, and I think that really helps when you’re trying to reduce your stress.

Ron Fruit: Serge Koenig has worked with farm families for years. It’s his experience that taking time to set some attainable goals can be a way to reduce stress. It’s also his experience that we don’t spend the time we should setting goals.

Serge Koenig: I think most of us probably spend more time figuring out which vehicle we want next than about like really meaningful, deep seated ways of looking at the world and thinking about things that make a meaningful difference. That’s pretty normal that I find, and it’s was true for me for the longest of time until I was more intentional of how I was spending my time and what I was doing here. You know, finding that meaning literally we spend more time shopping for things or looking at the next, the nicest tractor or the best fertilizer or seed or cattle or whatever, but most of us don’t sit down and really figure out, well, what makes us tick. What is it that drives us? What is it that gets us up in the morning? What is it that gets us excited to roll out of bed in the morning when that’s somewhat settled?

Serge Koenig: Setting the goals and fits right in with that bigger picture. Otherwise, I, I feel like most of us, and I put myself in this, we just float through life without any intentionality. And so taking the time, and that’s a big one and Joy touched on that where she’s not talking about the big stuff. It’s the little stuff that maybe leads to the big stuff. That’s where I think it is important to kind of nail down what it is that makes you tick and be intentional about thinking about that and spend more time on that for maybe the next week. Like, what is it about life that makes me want to go on with it? I mean, there’s a reason that either you’re listening today or we’re working on it today. There’s a reason you’re taking the time to do it, but what is that reason? And so figure that out and then fit the short term goals into that bigger goal and spend as much time doing that as you go shopping for the next whatever it is.

Ron Fruit: Joy found Serge’s example of our viewpoint on goals to be a good one.

Joy Kirkpatrick: I actually had a farmer say that to me when I was working with them on succession planning. They’re like, I spend more time shopping for my next truck than I have ever thinking about what I’m gonna do for a transition of the farm. They may not know that first step. So if they can break down that goal to a point of I need to either learn more or contact someone who knows more, might be the first step for that goal part. If you look in the future and thinking, I wanna transfer that farm to a next generation or whatever, that seems like overwhelming and and can’t figure it out. But if you can break down just being like, “What do I need to learn, or Who, who can I talk to to learn more might be that first attainable goal that you’re thinking about.

Ron Fruit: Attaining a goal may require using other skills that are a part of WeCOPE skills that relate to our positive emotional health.

Serge Koenig: It’s hard to get excited about accomplishing something if it doesn’t tie into something bigger, if it doesn’t tie into your deeper self. All these other things are meaningful and it’s important to do ’em, but you’re not gonna find much joy in it until you know that it’s going to take you someplace. And how do you know where that someplace is if you haven’t taken the time to figure out what that place is? If you don’t set any goals, how do you know you’ve accomplished them? If you don’t set any goals or have a roadmap, how do you know that you’ve reached the destination and what does the destination look like? And so I think you’re just winging it. Some people get a a thrill out of that, but most people don’t. It’s nice to have some rough plan. And so I guess that would be part of what I wanted to get at was just kinda rough something out. These are the things that make me tick. I am going to set these goals to help with this bigger picture of what makes me tick. And I know I kind of have a pretty rough idea of where I’m going. There’s something comforting in that I think, versus being in no man’s land and just you don’t know what’s coming at you.

Ron Fruit: A new week can bring a new round of stress. Having a plan for what needs to be done next week by the end of this week can be a good start to next week.

Joy Kirkpatrick: If you think about a strategy of a Sunday night, thinking about the one thing that you’re really dreading and then maybe trying to think about like when you’re gonna do it and how you’re gonna do it, what are those first steps? So then it doesn’t maybe feel as sort of that Sunday scary sort of thing. So, and maybe thinking about what time of the day or or what day of the week’s gonna be best for that, right? Not just having that F.A.R.M. acronym of of the focus and the actions and resources measure, but like actually saying, This is the best time for me to work on that before the vet gets here, or whatever, you know, before your herd health or whatever it might be, can really help you kind of contain it. Like, I’m gonna address it. I know that that’s something that’s been maybe stressing me out a little bit and then thinking about if I can contain it and address, take that first step to address it on this day and then it’s done.

Ron Fruit: You may relate very well to one of Serge’s challenges. Serge dealt with lower back problems that surfaced while he was in college. Now that may seem minor in comparison to major life goals, but the strategy that’s helped Serge really applies to our discussion of attainable goals.

Serge Koenig: I wanted a better quality of life, and it’s better when you’re not in pain and when you can actually do things with your kids and your spouse and your friends. And so I need to become a little more flexible and maybe work on improving my flexibility and strengthening my lower back. And so it started out with what, what? Let’s just do some crunches and some stretches once a week. I can do that. And so then it became twice a week and then pretty soon it’s three to four times a week. Ever since I’ve gotten into that habit, I might experience two or three days, maybe once or twice a year. And so it’s made a difference in my quality of life. And it wasn’t that big of a deal, but the idea of doing, what was it, like 50 crunches and 50 this way and it 150 almost all together and multiple times a week. It is, it’s not any fun. I don’t necessarily enjoy that, but I enjoy the, the aftermath. I enjoy the effect that that has had on my quality of life and happiness. And so I know that seems very minor, but to me that was somewhat significant.

Ron Fruit: One of Joy strategies is rooted in a very simple concept, a sticky note,

Joy Kirkpatrick: And it can’t be a big sticky note because then that’s too many, right? If you think about just a sort of a regular size sticky note, if you could put that goal or the the top three things that I need to get done today and then maybe two steps underneath each of those, that’s kind of how I manage my day, and I keep going back to that sticky note and making sure it’s okay, and is what I’m doing right now addressing those top three things in some sort of way? If it’s not, then I need to set it aside and start working on the thing, doing the steps that are on my sticky note that kind of helps me manage the distractions that come with more emails or thinking about, “Oh, I forgot to put that on my list.” Well, it’s not on my list today. So let’s just focus on those top three things today.

Ron Fruit: Thanks for listening, and thanks to our guests, Joy Kirkpatrick and Serge Koenig for sharing their knowledge and experiences with us. If you are interested in more information on positive emotional skills, check out all the episodes in Coping Better, Connecting Our Positive Emotions.

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Credits:  Coping Better; Connecting with Our Positive Emotions is a product of a generous grant from the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s (USDA) National Institute for Food and Agriculture (NIFA) through a partnership with the Wisconsin Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection (DATCP) and is adapted from the original WeCOPE curriculum, a ROTA grant funded program through the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).